You’re Not a Fix-it Project

Posted by on Mar 30, 2015 | 4 Comments

Geek eyeglasses laying on a grungy wooden background with retro

It’s so interesting to me how our perceptions of ourselves are often so far out of synch with how the world perceives us to be.  I know you can probably think of a few folks running about with an inflated opinion of themselves, but in my experience, the vast majority of us are so focused on what we think is wrong or needs to be improved, that we have a hard time seeing our own greatness (Oh, by the way, those inflated-ego-folks?  Most of them are just over-compensating).

The thing is, we see what we look for.  If we look at our ourselves and our lives as a fix-it project, that’s all we’ll see.  We’ll get up in the morning and look in the mirror and notice that we don’t look like the glamorous models in the magazines when we crawl out of bed…gotta fix that.  We’ll make our way to the kitchen and notice it doesn’t look like the HGTV Dream Home…gotta fix that.  We’ll walk into the office and look at the messy desk and think…gotta fix that.  We’ll go from one meeting to the next, picking apart the way we present, the way we’ve prepared, the way we look, the questions we’ve asked, the way we react, the way we feel.  We are, after all, committed to our self-improvement.  We wonder what it’s going to take to do a complete overhaul.  So much to fix.

How confident and powerful can we feel when we’re so focused on what needs to be fixed?   How confidently and powerfully can we influence and lead if that’s all we see?

What if we were to simply shift our focus, and instead of zeroing in on all that needs to be righted in our world, pay attention to all that is already right?  How might that change our experience of ourselves?  Of the work that we get to do?  Of our family?  Of our life?  How might that change the way we show-up and engage?

And what if we apply our what-is-right-focus to the way we look at our work, and the work of others, and our opportunities, and our families – to the way we look at the world?  How might that change things?

Listen, I’m in the development business, so I get the value of working on yourself.  And where would we be in life if we weren’t making incremental improvements on a daily basis?  But I think most of us have waaaay over-indexed on the need to fix ourselves.  Because our greatness is there, lying dormant, unnoticed and unappreciated.

Maybe the biggest thing we need to fix is what we’re looking to see.

 

©OnStage Leadership, 2015

Share this with someone who may not realize that they’re not the “project” they think they are.

Upcoming sessions of OnStage Leadership:  Dallas:  April 16th (Full); We will be offering open-enrollment sessions in Dallas and NYC again in the fall of 2015,  please notify us if interested in participating or being put on the wait-list.

KimberKimberly-Davis-Headshot-20142ly Davis is the Founder/Director of OnStage Leadership, a full-day experiential leadership workshop.  Click here to read what people are saying!  If you’re interested in more information, or in having Kimberly come speak to your group on topics around Authentic Leadership, Influence, Presence, Engagement, Purpose in the workplace, or Presentation Skills we’d love to hear from you!

4 Comments

  1. Charles Mencke
    March 31, 2015

    Kimberly, wonderful column today. We are always our own worst critic. I “flow” through my daily life and many see me as extremely confident in my leadership abilities. Deep down inside though, I don’t feel that confident in my abilities and have to “reach” to make those leadership decisions. I hope this makes sense.

  2. Kimberly
    March 31, 2015

    That totally makes sense, Chuck! I often feel that way too. Thank you so much, Chuck, for so openly sharing your experience. I suspect more leaders than you realize feel the same.

  3. Charles Mencke
    April 1, 2015

    You are most welcome. You are one of my “sages”. You’re “words of wisdom” resonate with me on a daily basis and have a profound effect on me as an individual and a leader. 🙂

  4. Kimberly
    April 1, 2015

    I am most grateful and quite humbled that you feel that way, Chuck. Thank you. We are sages for one another in many ways I suspect!

Leave a Reply