Do You Really Want to Influence?

Posted by on Nov 3, 2014 | 2 Comments

Portrait of annoyed businesswoman looking at camera with her for

When I met Jessica*, I was immediately struck by her passion and clarity.  She was a woman on a mission!  She could see that her company was committed to doing things the way they had always been done, and that was causing the best-and-the-brightest to jump ship.  As she explained it, people were leaving because they wanted to be part of a company that was changing with the times – one that reflects the world we live in today, and not (like her company) a relic of the past.   Fueled by the disappointment that some of her top talent had chosen to leave and armed with an awareness that things must change, Jessica was determined to shake things up.

I have a tremendous amount of respect for Jessica’s courage and aim.  She’s in for an uphill battle against ‘the-way-things-have-always-been’ and she knows it.  But I cautioned her to consider her approach.  Because however right we think are, making others wrong doesn’t lead to influence.

As many of you know, my favorite definition of authenticity, in relation to leadership and influence, was coined by former Medtronic CEO and Harvard Business School professor Bill George:  Authentic:  genuine, worthy of trust, reliance, and belief.

The thing about authenticity, from a leadership-influence-perspective, is that you don’t get to decide whether you’re “authentic” or not – that decision lies in the eye of the beholder.  Now that’s great, when you’re leading or influencing people who think just like you!  But it gets rather complicated when you’re trying to shift perspectives of people who see the world differently.

So if Jessica really wants to effect change in her organization, she needs to take a step back and ask herself:  What do the people I wish to influence need from me to experience me as genuine, worthy of trust, reliable, and believable? 

How might that inform the way she prepares for her next conversation with them?

How might that change the way she talks and listens to them?

Because like it or not, if we wish to truly influence those who see the world differently than we do – to create real change – we cannot approach the conversation from an I-am-right-you’re-an-idiot-perspective.

No one on the planet opens their mind to someone who treats them like an idiot.

You want to make change?  You want to do more than talk-to-yourself or sing-to-the-chorus?  Improve your odds.  Authentically engage in the conversation.

It’s certainly not going to be easy.  But real change never is.

*Names have been changed to protect the courageous and potentially influential

 

©OnStage Leadership, 2014 (revised from post originally posted December, 2013)

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Kimberly Davis is the Founder/Director of OnStage Leadership, a full-day experiential leadership workshop.  Click here to read what people are saying!

Want to be more influential?   Registration ends tonight (Monday, 11/3) for the last session in 2014 of  OnStage Leadership in  Dallas, November 6, 2014 Click here to inquire and register.

2 Comments

  1. What Are Your Super-Powers? | OnStage Leadership
    November 24, 2014

    […] To bring our best selves to our work and our lives we have to unleash our talents.  We cannot influence or hope to lead effectively without owning and leveraging what we do best.  As Marianne Williamson […]

  2. Adios, Mr. Ego! | OnStage Leadership
    June 1, 2015

    […] which resides in the person instead of being vested by the position he or s/he holds.”.  Thus influence requires choice.  It is different from force or coercion, as it assumes that people […]

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