You’re Not a Fix-it Project

Posted by on Mar 27, 2014 | 7 Comments

Geek eyeglasses laying on a grungy wooden background with retro

It’s so interesting to me how our perceptions of ourselves are often so far out of synch with how the world perceives us to be.  I know you can probably think of a few folks running about with an inflated opinion of themselves, but in my experience, the vast majority of us are so focused on what we think is wrong or needs to be improved, that we have a hard time seeing our own greatness (and oh, by the way, those inflated-ego-folks?  Most of them are just over-compensating…).

The thing is, we see what we look for.  If we’re looking at our ourselves and our lives as a fix-it project, that’s all we’ll see.  We’ll get up in the morning and look in the mirror and notice that we don’t look like the glamorous models in the magazines when we crawl out of bed – gotta fix that.  We’ll make our way to the kitchen and notice it doesn’t look like the HGTV Dream Home – gotta fix that.  We’ll walk into the office and look at the messy desk and think…gotta fix that.  We’ll go from one meeting to the next picking apart the way we present, the way we’ve prepared, the way we look, the questions we’ve asked, the way we react, the way we feel.  We are after all, committed to our self-improvement.  We wonder what it’s going to take to do a complete overhaul.  So much to fix.

How powerful can we feel when we’re so focused on what needs to be fixed?  How powerful can we really be if that’s all we see?

But what if we were to simply shift our focus, and instead of lasering in on all that needs to be righted in our world, pay attention to all that is already right?  How might that change our experience of ourselves?  Of the work that we get to do?  Of our family?  Of our life?  How might that change the way we show-up?

And what if we apply our what-is-right-focus to the way we look at our work, and our opportunities, and our families – to the way we look at the worldHow might that change things?

Listen, I’m in the development business, so I get the value of working on yourself.  And where would we be in life if we weren’t making incremental improvements on a daily basis?  But I think most of us have way over-indexed on the need to fix ourselves.  Because our greatness is there, lying dormant, unnoticed and unappreciated.

Maybe the biggest thing we need to fix is what we’re looking to see.

©OnStage Leadership, 2013;  Kimberly Davis is the Founder/Director of OnStage Leadership, a full-day experiential leadership workshop.  If you found this helpful, interesting, thought-provoking, or inspiring please “recommend”, “Like” and share.  It is only through your generosity that we can reach those who may find it valuable too.

7 Comments

  1. Kathleen Taylor-Gadsby
    March 27, 2014

    Thanks for this post, Kimberly. In Co-Active coaching we utilize the idea of a saboteur who is that nagging voice who tries to convince us that we need to be fixed. It helps to be conscious of this voice, perhaps even name it. Then, when this negative voice is too loud you recognize it as just that – a voice, but not the truth. As you point out, the truth is our potential for greatness.

  2. Kimberly
    March 27, 2014

    It sounds like something everyone could benefit from, Kathleen! Is that something that will be part of your offering?

  3. Chuck Mencke
    March 28, 2014

    Wonderful words of wisdom.

  4. Kimberly
    March 28, 2014

    Thank you, Chuck, for your thoughtful comment!

  5. Cathy Woodson
    March 30, 2014

    Love your posts Kimberly! This one in particular reminds me of an affirmation I had on my fridge during my years as a caregiver, which sadly are now over. The words are “I am not perfect but everyday I do the best I can.”

  6. Kimberly
    March 30, 2014

    Thanks so much, Cathy. That’s something I keep reminding our kiddo – that nobody is perfect (myself included). We seem to put people on pedestals as a culture, forgetting that none of us has everything dialed in. It would change so much if we could find a way to go easier on ourselves and each other and support one another to be our best instead of setting expectations based on the fantasy of perfection. I suspect, if we could do that, we would find that “the best we can” would be much better, as it would fall out of joy and celebration of who we are rather than guilt and shame of who we’re not.

  7. OnStage Leadership » Blog Archive Stop Chasing Perfection » OnStage Leadership
    March 31, 2014

    […] I write, it’s always interesting to see what resonates, and last week’s post, “You’re Not a Fix-it Project” seemed to hit a chord with many people.  I suspect that’s because so many of us are […]

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