The “Magic If”
I’m always amazed at how transferable my theatre degree has turned out to be. I never imagined that it would serve me as well as it has and give me tools that I use daily in my personal and business practices. One acting technique that has become the foundation for everything I do is the “Magic If”.
When creating a character for the stage, you have to consider everything that makes a person who they are and why they do what they do. You consider all of the given circumstances. You do what is called a “Character Analysis”, and explore their history, values, beliefs, physical characteristics. You look at the relationships between the different characters in the play. Who has the power? Who tells the truth? Who doesn’t? Why?
And you do all of this to come to a single basic question: Given everything you know about your character and the world he/she lives in, what would I do if I were in these circumstances?
What would I do if I were in these circumstances?
If, as an actor, you approach the “question” with any judgment at all, your performance is guaranteed to ring false. You simply have to relinquish any preconceived ideas you might have about anything or anyone, look at the given circumstances, put yourself in their shoes, and move forward. What would happen if we practiced this in life?
What would happen if we practiced this in life?
The opportunity to practice this lesson always seems to come to me while I’m driving. Not long ago I was on my way to a meeting, running a bit behind so I was – well yes, I admit it, I was going about 7 miles an hour over the speed limit. It was 6:30 in the morning. I’m winding my way through the neighborhood, when I find myself driving behind a van that is going at least 7 miles an hour under the speed limit. I slow down, muttering, “Come on…come on…”, and driving about a car’s length behind the van I can see that the rear window boldly reads, “Do not tailgate!”. Suddenly the van stops abruptly in the middle of the street, a head pops around from the front, and I see arms futzing with things in the backseat. More muttering on my part. I take the next left to escape the pokey van, and continue in my frenzy to get to my meeting on time. I park, center myself, and get out of my car, when I am met by a venomous woman who shouts at me, “You! You need to learn how to drive! You scared me half to death!” I am bewildered, embarrassed, a bit confused, and full of judgment. Time for the “Magic If”.
Taking in all the given circumstances – the speed of the van, the message on the rear window, her reaction when she saw me – I can imagine that this woman has had a bad experience with someone tailgating in the past. I can understand that, because of her probable past-experience, she is more fearful and angry than the situation warranted, and that her reaction is probably not about me. I’ve been fearful in the past. I’ve been angry in the past. I know how that feels. Now, rather than judging her, I can empathize with her. My reaction is diffused, and I can go on with my day. I can learn what I have control over (my reactions/going 7 miles an hour over the speed limit/leaving on-time to get to my meeting/etc), and let go of what I don’t (her reaction/her driving speed). The “Magic If” gives us a chance to step back. To think before we react.
“Magic If” gives us a chance to step back.
Think for a moment, how this could impact your life. What if you could step into your client’s shoes and see from their perspective? Not just to sleuth out their possible objections, but to understand how they feel when they do business with you. What would you do differently?
What if you could step into your boss’ shoes and better understand the stress and demands that they are experiencing? What if you could step into the shoes of your associate? What might they be balancing in their life? How do they feel about themselves when you’re around?
And outside of our work environment…What if you could step into your child’s shoes? Your neighbor’s? The guy behind the Starbucks counter? The woman sleeping on the sidewalk?
We all react to the world from our own set of “given circumstances”. Imagine the kind of world we’d have if everyone could simply step back – even for a moment – and see through someone else’s eyes.
Make a difference today. Ask yourself, “What if…….?”
©OnStage Leadership, 2009 (re-posted in 2014)
Kimberly Davis is the Founder/Director of OnStage Leadership, a full-day experiential leadership workshop. Click here to read what people are saying!
Want to learn more about out how to take strategic action around getting the results you want? Join us at our upcoming session of OnStage Leadership: Dallas, TX – July 24; NYC, Fall 2014 (date tbd).